It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
