Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
