thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize