One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
