You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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