she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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