and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
