just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
