I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
