remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
