Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize