Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
