i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
