Where is the hickey?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
