my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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