And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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