i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Every concussion has its silver lining
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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