Whod you bang
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
