the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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