was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Rumble strips road head = magical
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
