Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
