Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
