Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
