Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
