maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
