Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
