This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
