I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
