I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize