im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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