i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
