I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
