And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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