it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
