fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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