At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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