I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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