All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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