we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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