dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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