only if we run a train.
done.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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