Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
