also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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