He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize