No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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