Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
