I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
