YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
