weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
