Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
