Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
