the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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