She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You are the jesus of drinking
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
