I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
