3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
pray to the hookup gods
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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