this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
