After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Randomize
