i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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