I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
