Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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