Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
