Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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